Bimbo Alert

I decided this post is not going to be about my usual drama:

This means I can’t drone on about how

I don’t have any direction in life.

I can’t whine about how

I got dumped “callously” five years ago

And I can definitely not complain about

How neurotic my dad is (its just bad manners and I’m scared that he might read it and kill me)

Also it can’t be about how

Great my new shoes are (they’re gold and strappy and SO adorable)

And I won’t even go in the direction of:

How these girls today like totally gushed over my hair in my machine sewing class (I’m such a star)

Or the fact that Thailand is like the best place in the world. (These beaches in south Pattaya OH MY GOD)…BUT mum’s the word.

And yea American Idol 7 or was it 6….definitely NOT worth talking about.

Scratch...Shoes…Scratch…Ex-Boyfriend…Scratch…Shopping…Scratch…..Shoes

OH MY GOD! I just had a revelation.

I think I just might be like “a bimbo” and stuff.

My mind tries to go further than shoes, shopping; hair, clothes, Thailand and then magically fast backwards to shoes all over again.

This calls for some serious Mandy Moore.

I don’t know when this happened.

I was totally smart and did better in school than all my friends. (I was prettier too might I add)

Like I totally didn’t get knocked up in college and become a Pakistani trailer park trash like someone I know.

I mean I never got A’s or anything in school.

If I did I’d probably sit next to the four eyed toad wearing those ugly checks in the front row. (TLOL) I just totally made that up myself

“Totally laughing out loud”

TLOL…get it?

I know checks are so happening right now but it was late 1999 and they were so not happening.

I mean Alicia Silverstone in Clueless was my idol and she really wasn’t Einstein.

And boys never EVER hit on “smart girls”.

Okay so what! I am a bimbo!

Just so you know being a bimbo is really hard work. I mean you have to totally keep yourself HOT like all the time. You can’t be caught dead in a SCRUNCHIE. How the hell are you supposed to flick your hair and get your paper written by that dork if you’re wearing a scrunchie???

It’s pretty torturous I tell you. Some of us pretty girls have never seen the inside of a McDonalds. I, unlike all those girls eat McDonalds very often (I mean if I can use their toilet right after…why not?)

So I’m going to go ahead and be a bimbo. That’s what I’m good at being and that’s what’s expected from me.

FYI: They never made an Ugly Betty Barbie for a reason. (They just don’t sell)