wake up to the most beautiful sunny day. I know it’s a Sunday when I smell the aroma of aloo parathas in my room. I feel the hot summer breeze and I smile to myself. I love Karachi summers. In spite of mother electricity dying out on us every day, the monsoon rains stomping on us and the scorching sun glaring at us in all its glory I just can’t help loving it.
I get out of bed and happily jump on the weigh scale, five pounds overweight. That’s okay! Sitting around the house and eating aloo parathas can do its course. I decide to get my beautiful Jennifer-Lopez –size-of-Brazil bum to a nearby gym for quick weight loss recovery. My gym is a place filled with married stinking rich forty year olds. Somehow being a twenty year old works very well there. They fill me in on the miracles of Atkins diet and the latest Khaadi prints. And I tell them about my life as a singleton, my crazy escapades and my mad crushes.
So I happily stumble inside the gym and see my friends in their designer spandex glued to the TV. Not surprising at all. I was used to watching the bold and the beautiful with them. Instead, I find Indian faces whitewashed in cheap concealer and red lipstick and I say to myself this can’t be true. My horizontally challenged menopauseing friends could not be watching STAR PLUS. I clearly remember dissing Hindi films and their running around the fields dances with them. Before I could even adjust my eyes to this scenario Mariam Aunty comes running to me and shakes my shoulders aggressively and screams “PEOSH IS DEAD….SOOJAL KILLED HIM”. Their faces are white with fear, some almost in tears. My Alfred Hitchcock instincts come into play; do they mean the Hindu janitor we have? His name was Mahesh, Raj or maybe Peosh, they all sound so similar. Poor guy must’ve been rivalry. But why are my friends who have never cared about the famine war poverty actually worried about our Hindu janitor. For some reason, they still stay glued to the TV.
Soon enough I realize it’s not the janitor but some character on STAR PLUS who died but not really died. Someone exchanged bodies and switched the DNA. The absurdity of it all makes me laugh. So I jump on the treadmill and try to understand the obsession with these dramas.
2 weeks later
I weighed myself today while humming the theme to “kiyun ke saas bhee” with no embarrassment, regret or mortification. I had lost my 5 pounds but gained another addiction. I can’t go to sleep without having my daily dose of STARPLUS.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment