Saba!”
“ZOHa!”
“I just saw a guy you’re going to LOVE?”
“Is he on TV?”
No..Hes Real and so cute and he has this great car..and he went to Harvard and he’s so hot and he said he likes difficult girls and wefhefw qeiufheif ewfiohguierg wuefeghuwergh” (I blank out and start counting the ruffles on my curtains)
After she’s done giving me his whole life story I ask:
“Is he a Grammarian?”
“Yes!”
“Does he want a relationship?”
“No”
“Does he want marriage?”
“No”
“Does he want a one night stand?”
“Maybe”
“How many times have you met him?”
“Once”
“Why are we having this conversation?”
“Because he’s so HOTTTTTT”
If you haven’t guessed already my best friend loves setting my up.
In my opinion she likes to see me squirm and squiggle in front of an audience of not so single boys.
Just kidding.
She always has great intentions.
But in her dating history she has never failed to set me up with one of her boyfriends’ best friends.
Hmmm….the first guy she tried to set me up with looked at me briefly and said:
“Not her you idiot….I was talking about the other friend”
So I spat at him and called him a kutta ka bacha. (I was fourteen and that was an insanely bad word. I was such a rebel- I tell you)
The next one was in a serious relationship with a girl for two years but didn’t mind seeing ME on the side. (The nerve)
Then a grammarian. (He thought I wore too much makeup)
Then a guy with a great car and a dudly personality.
Then a guy who scratched his balls in front of me.
The list goes on.
And no matter how hard I try to convince my best friend not to set me up, she still somehow convinces me to go and meet this new guy anyway.
The date always starts smooth.
But it usually ends up with me walking off.
But there’s hope for me! She’s getting married in December inshallah.
Which means?
You guessed it!
No set-ups
No married men, no cross dressers, no axe murderers, no nothing for me to be set up with for eternity.
The only thing I might actually miss is making fun of these guys a week after the date.
“ZOHa!”
“I just saw a guy you’re going to LOVE?”
“Is he on TV?”
No..Hes Real and so cute and he has this great car..and he went to Harvard and he’s so hot and he said he likes difficult girls and wefhefw qeiufheif ewfiohguierg wuefeghuwergh” (I blank out and start counting the ruffles on my curtains)
After she’s done giving me his whole life story I ask:
“Is he a Grammarian?”
“Yes!”
“Does he want a relationship?”
“No”
“Does he want marriage?”
“No”
“Does he want a one night stand?”
“Maybe”
“How many times have you met him?”
“Once”
“Why are we having this conversation?”
“Because he’s so HOTTTTTT”
If you haven’t guessed already my best friend loves setting my up.
In my opinion she likes to see me squirm and squiggle in front of an audience of not so single boys.
Just kidding.
She always has great intentions.
But in her dating history she has never failed to set me up with one of her boyfriends’ best friends.
Hmmm….the first guy she tried to set me up with looked at me briefly and said:
“Not her you idiot….I was talking about the other friend”
So I spat at him and called him a kutta ka bacha. (I was fourteen and that was an insanely bad word. I was such a rebel- I tell you)
The next one was in a serious relationship with a girl for two years but didn’t mind seeing ME on the side. (The nerve)
Then a grammarian. (He thought I wore too much makeup)
Then a guy with a great car and a dudly personality.
Then a guy who scratched his balls in front of me.
The list goes on.
And no matter how hard I try to convince my best friend not to set me up, she still somehow convinces me to go and meet this new guy anyway.
The date always starts smooth.
But it usually ends up with me walking off.
But there’s hope for me! She’s getting married in December inshallah.
Which means?
You guessed it!
No set-ups
No married men, no cross dressers, no axe murderers, no nothing for me to be set up with for eternity.
The only thing I might actually miss is making fun of these guys a week after the date.
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